Daddy's and Their Baby Girls

                                                 
What is it about Daddy's little girl that manages to turn them into over protective softies? Who even  knew those two polar opposite adjectives could describe the same man?  Every little girl needs her Daddy. She will look to him to guide her, to make her tough. If he is a good man (which thankfully mine is!) he will show her how she needs to be treated by other men in her life. Daddy's are the best at reminding them that getting dirty can be fun, but they are still often the first to be dragged to the tea party she is having.  They can often be the most confused  when those dreaded teenage years make their little girls life complicated. But they love when those same little girls stand up for themselves for the first time and tell the boy that hurt them most to get lost.  No matter the age, a Father will always be there, A silent shoulder to lean on.  Little girls love to go to their mothers to talk about everything in there lives, which can make a Dad feel left out. But girls always know, you go to Dad when things are so rough, and words just don't seem possible. Daddy's can sit in silence, waiting. Knowing that when they want to talk they will. And If they don't want to, they wont. Sometimes a mother is just too determined to understand and give solutions. We forget that our child might not need solutions. They might need silence. Time to think and reflect. Daddy's are great for that.  Every girl needs a Dad to take them fishing, camping, shooting, hiking, exploring. They need to be shown that they can do everything a man can do. There is no better way to teach them how strong they can be. Strength is not always in your muscles. It can be in the determination you have, the fight you have in you when everyone tells you that you cant. Mothers can do all these things, and should with their little girls. But something about doing it with him, makes them realize how strong they are.  Little girls need to be able to hold their fathers hand. No matter how big and scary the world is, Their father is right there, holding their hand. And he is bigger and stronger than any boogyman could ever be.

Its not just a mother's maternal instinct that kicks in when a baby girl is born. From their birth a father knows to protect. It might be something that could hurt them today, or something that wont happen for years to come. You may think that Mom's are the worry wort's. And we are, but a father worries too, just maybe not about the same things.  Case in Point-

Within the first few weeks of my little girls birth I was concerned with:  Is she eating enough? Is she cold?  Is she hot?  Will she ever sleep?  Pretty typical thoughts right? Want to know what my Boyfriend thought of?

We awoke one morning in those first few weeks of her life, And the first things He said to me was
"I had a bad dream, a really bad dream about Paige."
"A bad dream about Paige?" The worst thoughts came to my mind. Even the thought of her hurt, abused, helpless or taken from us makes my heart freeze. Even though I didn't really want to hear what this "horrible" dream was about I had to ask.

Turns out he didn't dream about any of those things.
"I dreamed that it was the middle of the  night and I heard a noise in Paige's room. I was worried someone might be in there. So I got my work gun, and a flash light, I crept slowly down the hall. By this time I could hear several male voices in her room"  The fear in me grows that this is not a dream i want to hear the end to.

"I threw open her door, ready to shoot anyone I see, Im a split second from pulling the trigger. When I realize that she had snuck some guy friends into her room.  I was so mad. I wanted to shoot them anyway and tell them to get the F out. I even woke up mad from my dream" I gathered at this point that this dream was much farther into the future then I originally might have thought, (or that Paige has amazing social skills for a one month old) AND that daddy's worry too.

"Well Babe, Im sure you scared those kids shitless. They wont be back to haunt you in your dreams again"
I just had to laugh and walk away.


If you have the time, check out this list 50 rules for Dads of Daughters by Michael Mitchell.
I couldnt have made a better list myself.

My New Mommy Must Haves

Holy Crap. I'm officially a Mommy. Holy Crap.
Did I mention Iv NEVER changed a diaper?
Iv never fed a baby.
I have only ever held one maybe two other newborns in my life.
Iv never babysat or cared for this small of a child. Not EVER.
Holy Crap.
Iv read about it. But lets just face it, you can READ about Nuclear Physics and the reactions of nuclear cold fusion. But that does not mean you can do (let alone understand) how to do above mentioned craziness.

Thankfully you don't need a PHD to clean a smelly butt or make a bottle.  They also have tons of books to help you out these days as well as full prof baby products.  But some of these products make you feel like you need to sell your kidney to pay for them.  I work hard for my money. I don't like to feel like I'm wasting it, and I know there are lots of people out there just like me.  So you'll find I don't have any problem buying some items used, on sale, cheap, and that I know can be used for years to come.  You will never see me posting a crib that cost $500. Lets get real, baby's grow fast, some items will be used for a matter of months if not weeks. Why shell out 50.00 for an Easter dress that they will wear once, AND get a stain on it?

What I read-

While pregnant I read What to expect when your expecting both the book and this website. The website is handy for alot of reasons. You can sign up to get email updates to learn what you should be doing and also how your baby is growing at that stage. It has articles as well, everything from what to eat to what to buy for the upcoming baby.

What to expect also as another handy little book called What to Expect the First Years.  Another great book for those who may not know much about raising a child. There are a lot of pages you can skip over because lets face it, like I said before its doesn't take a genius to change a diaper. but other things, like when is your child old enough for solid food was helpful to me. The website I linked above also goes on to baby's third year so you'll have help for years to come.

What I bought-

Aquatopia-Safety Bath Time Thermometer
This little guy was handy because it eliminates the guessing game of what temperature is baby safe.  In addition to the reading it gives you on the top it also beeps when the water gets too hot AND too cold (something those little rubber duckies with the heat sensors don't do). I purchased mine at Walmart for $10.00 but you can find them online too.

Safety 1st Acella Sport Travel System
While you don't have to purchase this system exactly I do recommend purchasing something similar. These systems are great because the car seat clips directly to the stroller for use when baby is too small to sit in the stroller seat, but easily converts to a regular jogging stroller. It does fold down for easy storage in your car truck but still takes up a fare amount of room. It comes with the car seat base for your car as well.
I think I paid about $175 for mine. Trust me its worth it. Car seats alone can cost that much.

Playtex VentAire Bottles-
These come in a standard bottle, and a wide bottle. The wide mimics the shape of nipple better if you plan on supplementing with breast feeding. And they come in 6oz and 8oz sizes for both types. The thing I love most about these bottles is that they come completely apart for easy cleaning.  The base unscrews and makes it so much easier to shove a bottle brush inside to clean.  I read some reviews complaining about this feature, stating it has too many parts, but I loved these bottles. I never had any problems with them leaking either.  You can buy them in gift pack for a shower gift, packs of 3 and individually.  They are BPA free and said to reduce ear infections (my child has never had one) and should help with gas, colic and spit up. My baby still had a terrible time with gas though.  Prices vary depending on where and how you buy them but are similar to any other bottle out there.

Gas drops-
I tried several brands and they all seemed to work the same for my baby. Just a drop in the bottle helps eliminate air bubbles for a much happier munchkin.  I had a horrible time with my baby and gas for the first 4 months. I changed formula and tried every trick I could find to help her (pumping  her legs, fussy gassy formula, soy and more). Nothing was 100% but these at least helped more than anything else I found.  They are cheap too. I would buy it a Target and could usually get a two pack for about $6.

Medela Quick Clean steam bags-
The reason I choose these bags over a traditional microwave bottle steamer is they don't take up space on my counter or cabinets (I HATE having things cluttering up my counter tops).  They come in a box with 5 bags and each bag can be re-used 20 times, I  would use mine more though. Fill the bag, add 2 oz water, seal the bag and microwave for 3 minutes. I would scrub my bottles after each use, and steam them at the end of the day to make sure they were good and clean.  I have only been able to find these online and at Target and usually cost between $5-$10

As a side note I recommend buying big ticket items such as the car seat, stroller, highchair and swing in a gender neutral color if you plan on having more than one child.  You may get excited that your having a girl and want everything pretty in pink for your little one but think to the future. Your next child might be a boy, and you might be strapped for cash the second time around. You cant blame every passerby that see's your little boy in a pink car seat and say's "Oh what a darling little girl you have!" Trust me you'll appreciate your smart thinking down the road. Its also is easier for resale too. Craigslist is often the first place a mommy strapped for cash will shop. You'll appeal to a wider range of shoppers if your items are neutral.  Don't be afraid of second hand items but be smart. Buy only things that can be washed and sanitized. Big ticket items are great to keep an eye out for too. I purchased a great matching crib, dresser and changing table on craigslist for $200. I recommend steering clear of car seats though, you never know if they have been recalled or in a crash.  Another thing to keep in mind is you dont need to rush out and buy everything all at once. Think about what your baby will need right away (like the items listed above) and the items that can wait a few months, like a walker or fancy toys.

I will be posting new products every so often for you guys to check out so keep checking back!

Tips for your hospital stay

These are just a few tips and ideas to keep in mind if your getting ready to have your little bundle of joy.

1. Sleep. You wont be looked at as a bad mother if you ask the nurses to take the baby during the night so you can get a few precious hours of sleep. They will wake you up when she needs fed (if breast feeding) and care for her in any other way they may need.  You have to remember what you just put your body through.  You deserve and need rest.  You have lots of sleepless nights ahead.

2. Speak up to the nurse's. If you feel that something is wrong with either you or your baby you need to tell someone. If its truly bothering you speak up and make sure you are HEARD. Don't let them brush you off just because they are busy.  I wanted to breast feed my child, but was having some trouble. I told the nurse's when I first arrived at the hospital I was going to want to see the lactation lady for help when Paige was born. Thinking this heads up would help them schedule a time for her to see me. The first morning there I again asked to see the lactation expert. I was told she was very busy but she would try.  In the mean time the nurse tried to "help me".  The second day at the hospital I told them again, My breast/nipples were really tender at this point (which I knew meant she wasn't latching on right) and again the nurses "helped" and said they would try to get the lactation lady in to see me.  When I finally did get some time with her (very rushed time) she basically said I was too sore, and yes my child was not latching on correctly. But that I need to take a break for a few days and try when I wasn't so tender.  I never was able to get her to latch on correctly.  And I left the hospital pretty frustrated.  Also make your preferences known too.  If you do not want your child to have a pacifier tell them.

3. Speak up to your friends/family. You want to share your bundle of joy to the world, but you also just want a moment of piece with your new little family. Often people get so caught up in the excitement of the new baby they don't realize that you perhaps too might want to hold your baby! Dont be afraid to kick people out and just take a moment to be with your baby.  I choose to not have anyone in our delivery room except my boyfriend. This was the very first moments of our life together with this baby. We are the people that matter most at the exact moment. I think it helps bond you to go through that together as a family. We allowed everyone in soon enough to see the baby, but that moment was just for us.  We also made sure to have time alone just the 3 of us in the days to come.

4. Take everything. Im not saying to steal everything. And I do recommend asking a nurse first, but most hospitals have a policy where when you leave you can take everything that cant be washed or sanitized.  This means you can take the diapers they have in the changing table, Snot sucker (Guard this with your life! You might even see if they will give you an extra one to take home too, these ones work 100% better than any one you can buy. Trust me) "Diapers/pads" (the ones for you, as gross as it is you will be needing these for at least the first few days)  If your like me and tried breast feeding and borrowed a pump they may even give you the tubes and attachments needed to use the pump. Yep, those are yours to take too (the pump has to be returned of course).  And if bottle feeding, any formula they may have left in the room. Sometimes the bottles can be taken as well- again just ask.  In addition you can also usually take the newborn beany as a memento, but not the blankets.

5. In the weeks leading up to your due date make sure you take the time to strap the base of the carseat into the car so its ready to go. I also put the seat in my trunk so it would be on hand and ready. Pack your over night bag and leave it by the door ( I also just put this in my trunk so it was there waiting)  When packing your bag there are a few things to consider. You will NOT be fitting into your size 2 jeans when you leave the hospital (and if you do, mothers everywhere hate you) many women opt to take sweats to wear home. I took a maternity dress and flip flops. It takes up little space and you dont look like a total bum when leaving.   You also sadly, will not be wearing cute, sassy underwear when you leave. Pack the granny panties.  Entertainment, a book or laptop will come in handy for both you and the daddy. A camera, and of course baby clothes and blanket. The hospital may provide shampoo and such but lets face it, it usually sucks so bring your own bathroom kit.

6. Enjoy, try not to stress too much. there is plenty of time for that later.